So, where do I start? First off, how are you? Before answering too quickly, take a moment. Place one hand on your heart, the other on your belly, and take a few deep breaths. This is your chance to check in with yourself before reading on.
If I’m being honest, I haven’t been doing enough of that lately. And I should know better by now. Reflecting on the equinox has me thinking about finding balance in life, something I’ve struggled with lately, emotionally and personally.
September has always been a time for harvesting the fruits of the summer, for change, and for magic. But this year, it’s hit me differently.
Real Talk: The Ups and Downs
I’m living the life I dreamed about—sorta. The vision board, the journal entries, the dreams—they’ve come true, but there’s still something missing. It’s that “sorta” that’s making me feel off-balance. What’s missing feels bigger than what I’ve achieved, and that scares me. Am I chasing something that will ever be enough? Will I ever be enough?
I’ve spent years learning about mental health, depression, movement, and mindfulness practices. I know the tools, but even with all that knowledge, I still fall into old patterns. Isn’t that how life is sometimes? It’s like doing the Hokey Pokey—one step forward, one step back—and it’s a dance that feels pretty lonely.
Pretending everything is fine is exhausting. I’d rather be real, vulnerable, and true to who I am than fake it ’til I make it.
The Loss of Teaching
I miss teaching. It has been my constant since 2011. When I stop teaching, it usually means life is in a downswing. And right now, I feel that loss.
It’s not just the movement—though the benefits of movement are endless—it’s the connection, the community, the laughter, the shared purpose that makes teaching so magical.
Moving to North Berwick was supposed to bring more in-person movement into my life, but life had other plans. I’ve stopped teaching online too, and I didn’t realize how much I’d miss it.
Here I am. And here you are, still reading—so thank you for sticking with me this far.
Becoming “Optimystic”
One thing this journey has taught me is that finding balance in life isn’t easy. Being optimistic doesn’t mean ignoring the heavy stuff, and being mystical doesn’t mean rejecting practicality. It’s about blending the two. That’s why I’m embracing the idea of being optimystic—finding balance between optimism and mystical curiosity.
Wanna join me?
Looking Ahead
Despite all the doubts, I’ve managed to keep writing. Sady’s story is coming together, and even though I wonder if anyone will read it or care, I’m trying to stay hopeful. This week is a powerful one: it’s the Full Moon in Pisces and the Autumn Equinox. Expect emotional intensity and creative sparks.
I’ve been putting so much energy into Sady’s story that I’ve neglected my magical writing—Moon Musings, Rituals, and the like. But with this equinox energy, I feel drawn to return.
As I navigate this season of change, I’m thinking about finding balance in life—between the practical and the magical, the ups and the downs. What about you? How are you feeling this Equinox? What balance are you seeking?
