Spring Equinox Reflections

The seasons are starting to move into their next phase, even if you haven’t noticed the changing of colours with your eyes, your senses are nudging you towards that deeper knowing that winter has come to an end (at least in the northern half of the world).

Last Spring Equinox, I shared all the things I love about this time of year with a small gathering online. Movement. Music. Rituals. And of course, a little magic. As nature was saying goodbye to the season of winter, we welcomed in the promise of new life, beginnings and the return of light.

For years, I had made a point to celebrate the solstices and the equinoxes, mainly through offering specially curated workshops or movement practices (& yes, those that know me will know it included some magical music playlists too). Then I stopped in 2019 and most of 2020. I really thought 2021 was going to be the year I brought it all back, but then life happened. As it does.

I struggled to stay connected to the cycles of nature, and my body, or should I say soul, feels this deeply. While I still live with depression, it continues to have a little less power over me than it once did. Perhaps it's the choice of words? I LIVE with depression, instead of I STRUGGLE...

The Spring Equinox, also known as Ostara in parts of the world, is the time of year meant to honour renewal, rebirth and...I like to think...reclamation. It is an invitation to rise from deep vision and soul-planning to embark on an intentional journey of planting seeds and taking action towards living your life on purpose. While nature prepares to rise from the dark ground, we are being invited to do the same in our own lives.

And yes, the word ‘equinox’ comes from Latin which means “equal nights”, and is nature’s reminder for balance. While the chill of winter can still be felt in the morning air, mother nature is slowly preparing for a type of rebirth. The leaves begin to grow, the weather gets warmer, the time for new growth in the ground has begun.

Pause. Ponder.
Remember, Ostara is about renewal.

Are you feeling the call to renew your intentions, goals, desires and hopes? Is there a sense of rising to reclaim?

Or are you a little like I am this year, hesitant to let go of the darkness of winter (also known as my depression) because you're not sure who you are without it? Ya heard me, we can get so addicted to our negative thoughts and behaviours that we forget who we were before. I've been awakening to this truth more and more.

Hey, listen, no matter what you answered, no judgement, ok? Not from me, and not from yourself, deal?

Can you give yourself permission, even if it is just for this one day of the Spring Equinox, to trust that everything is in harmony?

Don’t worry if you can’t see it clearly yet, or feel it.

Our lives go through cycles of growth (summer), harvest (autumn), death (winter), and rebirth (spring), just like we see in nature. Hell, we even see a similar cycle with the moon phases and that cycle happens 13 times a year (give or take)!

Learning how to first acknowledge that your own life has cycles and phases (and yeah, this includes your body too), and then understanding how you can move with and through them is a lifelong journey. This won’t always be easy, as nature has both light and dark aspects, but guess what? So do you. And me, and everybody else in this world.

Now I'm not saying that I have all the answers, mostly these are reflections from my own life. Sometimes sprinkled with a little intuition and some learning (ya girl does like to study, weird, I know).

The Spring Equinox represents a time to welcome your growth and expansion while also asking you, gently, to release your attachment to anything that feels heavy, weighing you down. Like the earthly leaves that begin to grow, they have to burst from their place of rest and darkness. A seed that has been planted in the soil must crack, break and push through the earth to rise. So is it with us. Sometimes it's painful. Sometimes it's gentle.

While the days are growing longer, you may find yourself waking earlier to rise with the sun. Or not. Perhaps you are starting to feel the warmth of possibilities, and the invitation to move your energy as nature is now. Or not.

Time and time again, I am reminded that there is no right or wrong way to move with the seasons, because each person is beautifully unique; just like each leaf on a tree, like each flower whose buds are beginning to bloom. So don’t get caught up in over-analyzing. Trust me, I feel ya on this, and have to remind myself constantly to knock that sh*t off. Let it be simple. Let it be yours. Let it evolve.

For this Spring Equinox, Ostara, I invite you to ponder the possibilities of how you can honour this cycle in your life:

1. Grab some paper (or journal), pen, candle + match, fire-proof dish, and a plant.
2. Light the first candle. Pause.
3. At the top of the page, write the words “RECLAMATION”. Underneath list everything that would help you reclaim more joy in your life. What seeds can you nurture and grow to help you reclaim what may have been buried in the depths of winter? If you are unsure of where to begin, start with how you want to feel when you wake up.
4. Sit with your list. Breathe. Smile. Let it feel good.
5. Look at the flame of the candle. Long enough to feel the excitement that lives in each moment.
6. Tear out the page, and hold it over the flame of your candle.  Let it burn.
7. Take the ashes and bury them in your garden, or a house plant.
8. Keep the candle lit. Throw on some music, let your body reclaim movement. No rules. Got it?

With the energy of restoring balance, I encourage you to look around your home and get rid of anything you no longer need. Keep asking yourself how you can create space for the new season. If deep cleaning is involved, I strongly encourage you to find chemical-free solutions where possible.

Other simple ways of embracing those Spring Equinox vibes:

• Reclaim a daily rhythm. As the season changes, so may your daily routine and needs. Take the time you need to reflect on what may be transitioning for you and create a new framework for your day.
• Get outside. Yes, it’s that simple. Get outside. Connect with nature in any way you can. Even if you live in a big city with no nature parks nearby, just walking outside will have its benefits. The key ingredient for this one? Turn off your devices and just walk. No music. No distractions. Just you and your feet moving forward.
• Decluttering. Getting rid of waste, or excess, is not only part of the equinox but it’s part of the spring season. Reorganize. Donate. Recycle. Find ways to clear space in eco-friendly ways where possible. It's all about creating space for the new, the growth and the reclamation. Trust me. There is always a way.

Where I find myself caught between a rock and a hard place, is learning how to move through and with the phases of my mind. Depression is always there but it has waves that can crash against me, threatening to drown me while other times it is a small ripple in a pond. Barely noticeable. It doesn't help that we live in a world where darkness is feared, while the light is applauded. For those of us living with depression, it often brings feelings of shame because we can't seem to live in the light all the time.

The Spring Equinox offers an invitation for balance of both within us, darkness and light, and is nature’s way of letting us know “this too shall pass”. It is a reminder of the impermanence of everything. In a strange way, by showing us the rebirth and the death of winter, mother nature shows us that both can exist - side by side.

So, whether you celebrate the Spring Equinox, Ostara, or not, learning to embrace the inevitable cycles of change coming our way with a renewed sense of gratitude and abundance could help your mental health, your overall wellness and perhaps, bring you closer to a thriving life.

P.S. I'm still figuring it out as I go along. Thanks for being part of the journey.