Some of y’all already know. Yesterday, I did something wild—some might even call it bat-sh*t crazy. I boarded a one-way flight to Scotland. No job, no partner, no real plan, and nothing to call home. Just two pieces of luggage, a backpack, and my laptop.
Now, I’m here. Scotland.
It wasn’t just me on that flight. Fear was right there with me. I felt it the entire way, but I kept moving forward. Maybe even because of it.
The Call of My Soul
This decision wasn’t impulsive; it had been brewing for years. Ever since my first trip to Scotland in 2002, when I traveled with my son and met my biological mother and family, the idea had lingered. Scotland was calling me. It’s in my DNA. Over the years, I made several attempts to move, but something always kept me rooted in Canada. The timing never felt right, and life had a way of holding me back.
Still, the voice inside me never went away. It kept whispering that one day, I would return to the land of my birth. Scotland waited in the background, ready for me to embrace the alchemy of my life.
A Year of Upheaval
The pandemic stripped away a lot of certainty, but for me, it did more than that. It forced me to let go of what was no longer serving me. Before COVID hit, 2019 had already been a year of upheaval. I downsized from a corporate job, closed my studio, and moved to Pittsburgh for a relationship. But when that ended just four months later, I moved back to my parents’ house, feeling like I had lost everything. By October, I had spiraled into a deep depression, battling suicidal thoughts.
But with each loss, I wasn’t just losing—I was clearing space. Life was forcing me to shed what no longer fit. It was painful, yes, but it was making room for something bigger and more aligned with who I truly am.
That “something” was this next chapter in Scotland.
No Plans, Just Faith
Here’s the truth: I didn’t have it all figured out. No job, no clear plan for where I’d live, and no roadmap. Just me, a couple of suitcases, and a belief that this move was what I needed.
Fear? Oh, it was there, walking beside me every step of the way. But I didn’t let it stop me. Fear shows up when you’re doing something that matters. It’s often a sign that you’re on the verge of growth, on the cusp of transformation.
I could have stayed. I could have waited until things felt safer, more secure. But waiting for the “right” moment would mean waiting forever. There’s no perfect time for taking the leap. You just have to jump, trusting that each step will reveal itself.
The Journey Begins
As I sat at the gate for my first flight, my glasses fogging from my breath, it hit me: I was holding the pen to my own story again. For too long, I’d felt like my light was dimming, like I was fading into the background of my own life. But now? Now I was blazing, brave, and ready to write the next chapter.
There I was, crossing the ocean back to where my first chapter began. I thought about my childhood in London and the tiny apartment where my parents brought me after picking me up from foster care in Scotland. I wondered about my childhood friend Emma and where life had taken her. Nostalgia hit me, but so did excitement. A deep sense that something amazing was waiting for me on the other side.
Scotland—where my story began—was about to witness its most epic chapter yet.
Taking the Leap
There’s something powerful about taking the leap when everything feels uncertain. We’re taught to have a plan, to make sure everything is lined up before we act. But sometimes, the only way forward is to leap, even when you don’t know where you’ll land.
I didn’t have a perfect plan. No job, no savings, no solid roadmap. What I did have was the fire in my soul, calling me back to Scotland, telling me this is where I needed to be.
Fear? It was there. It’s still with me. But courage isn’t about being fearless. It’s about feeling the fear and moving forward anyway, trusting that each step will come. The path won’t always be straight, but I’m okay with that. Sometimes the curvier, the better.
What’s Your Leap?
So, here’s my question: what’s calling you? Is there a leap you’ve been avoiding because it feels too big or too uncertain? I’m here to tell you—take the leap. Let fear come along, but don’t let it drive. You don’t need everything figured out. You just need to trust yourself enough to take that first step.
The life you’re meant to live is waiting on the other side. So, what will your next chapter be? The pen is in your hand. Time to start writing.
